How to Stop Being a Perfectionist

Table of Contents

• Why Perfectionism Traps Us
• How Little Control We Actually Have
• Your Only Real Responsibility
• You Are Human, Not Perfect
• Trust Today, Tomorrow Will Follow
• Effort Is Enough
• When Allah Is in Control
• There Is No Perfect Moment
• Thoughts and People Have No Power Over You
• A Promise from the Qur’an
• FAQs

Why Perfectionism Traps Us

You know, we should stop being perfectionists in life. How to stop being a perfectionist? The first step is realizing why we get stuck: because when we want everything to happen exactly according to us—why didn’t this happen, why didn’t that happen, why did it happen this way instead of that way—we just get completely caught up in these thoughts.

How Little Control We Actually Have

Look, always keep this thing in your mind: in this world, whatever is happening, we literally don’t know much about it. We can’t even fully control the mechanisms that are happening inside our own bodies, nor can we control what is happening outside of us. But still, in our lives, with everything else, we keep thinking, “No, we have to control this, we must control that.” Whereas in reality, that’s not how it works.

Your Only Real Responsibility

Our main responsibility is just to make a rough timetable—do what is actually in our control, and that’s it. As for all the future things—how it will happen, why it will happen—these are not our problems to solve. If you stay stuck in the chase of becoming perfect, you won’t be able to do anything at all.

You Are Human, Not Perfect

That’s why always keep this in mind: there is nothing in all of this. You are human, and you can make mistakes. And one more thing—our mind creates so many things within itself, whereas in reality, those things are not even that difficult. Our mind makes them look much bigger than they actually are.

All of this is just a game of thoughts. These things are nothing. They only give you tension.

Trust Today, Tomorrow Will Follow

Look, when your basic needs are being fulfilled, and your today is going well, then your tomorrow will also pass well. And anyway, this life is temporary. People will come and people will go. Good times will come, and bad times will also come.

Effort Is Enough

Just keep this in your mind: only do the work that is in your control. Put in effort. Appreciate yourself for that effort as well. Some people criticize themselves so much just because they are perfectionists, and because of that, they can never feel satisfied in life.

When Allah Is in Control

You have to keep this in your mind: when Allah is running the entire system of this universe, then what tension do you have? Why are you stuck in all of this? This money tension, this worry, that worry—everything will end one day.

If we were meant to live in this world permanently, then taking tension would at least make some sense. But when we are not meant to stay here forever and have only come for a short time, then why are you giving yourself so much stress?

There Is No Perfect Moment

Do you know? A perfect moment never really comes. You just have to carry life forward in a good way. You only have to do what is in your control, and that’s it. Do good work according to your own capacity. Don’t move toward extreme perfectionism, because if you do, you will never be able to stay happy in life.

Thoughts and People Have No Power Over You

And one more thing I have noticed: we people are the kind who lift our thoughts and keep prolonging them. Bring this into your mind—what are these thoughts actually? What can they really do? These thoughts and these people cannot harm us at all.

Remove the fear of people from your heart. People are nothing. Do not fear anyone except Allah. Why fear people? Allah says to fear only Him. So who are people after all?

A Promise from the Qur’an

And don’t get trapped in future-related worries either. Do you know that in the Qur’an, Allah says that whoever follows My guidance—meaning the Qur’an—will have no grief and no fear. And Allah’s words can never be false.

Anyway, Allah Hafiz. If you liked this, do let me know in the comments.

FAQs

1. How do I stop being a perfectionist?

Start by focusing only on what is in your control and letting go of everything else. Remember, perfection is an illusion and trying to control everything leads to tension.

2. Can perfectionism affect mental health?

Yes. Extreme perfectionism can cause constant self-criticism, stress, and anxiety. Learning to trust your efforts and Allah’s plan reduces this burden.

3. How can I handle future worries?

Do what you can today, put in your effort, and trust that Allah is managing the universe. Accept that you cannot know or control everything.

4. Is making mistakes okay?

Absolutely. Mistakes are human. Recognizing them without harsh self-criticism is key to living a peaceful life.

5. How do I deal with fear of people?

Fear only Allah. People cannot harm you unless Allah wills it. Focus on your actions and trust Allah’s protection.